Hoyo.

She see's it as deliberate
but Hoyo its not.
Always upsetting, forgetting
always misunderstanding.
I didn't intend.
But repeatedly
I tend to.

So Broken .
So Gone.
I claw into the last grains
of hope
of trust.
As I always dismissed
whats is so easily missed
as the shouldnt of's
couldnt of's
and wouldnt of's.

Small acts and gestures
that would suffice
and equate to love and care
and all this time I played with dice.
Now all  I do for her is a must
before her and I turn into dust.

Shes says there two types of people
one that are born with obligation
and ones that come to learn their obligation.
I am neither.
Well at least that whats it appears like.
Raised by a strong and fearless woman
brings me to
en-devour to show feelings
feelings of love admiration
obligation
Which I do Hoyo.

Theres are things I see as nothing
 deem to be fundamentally wrong
and hurtful
and sinister
but I think I must of missed
the Memo
of this ambilical cord straining
and hemorrhaging
and torn flesh.

I just want to start over and press refresh.

I beg and plea but inside she is already gone
always vowed to never reach this
un-reconcilable
unreachable low
of thrashing horror.

My acts are taken as
personal
planned
torturous.
Despise
But inside
darting directly
from my eyes
I would never
Hoyo for instead my own weight
I would sever.

Hurting you is only me that I cheat
So Hoyo I make this concrete
no pain you shall ever meet.

Im sorry but 

it is not enough

I pray that it wil be

as heaven lies beneath my mothers feet.

Copyright ©  Mino Rock March 2010

FOOT NOTES

Translations  

HOYO means Mother.