Tuesday 29 June 2010

Park # 1

Sitting in the park.
Centre of attention to the cities eyes.
The tough bark of a tree.
A comfortable but rigid rest to support my back.
My momentarily warm feet from walking sneakers
now feel the chill of the breeze.

The solace star falls down raising temperatures . . .
Cold.
Nipples alert.
Blended Ice coffee finished.

The upright couple have grown exhausted 
of grooming each other orally.
Jaws lay relaxed.
Lay down.
Calm satisfaction.

Young pre-adolescence give their attention 
to freezing the moments of wildlife.
Movements and Postures .
Squirrel there's no need to be scared.
They don't want your nut.
As much of a prized possession it is.

In French one boy directs,
'allez le droit, tourner à gauche'
' Take the picture now'
Well thats I assume the rest meant.
I was never that good at French.

Another couple oddly walk past.
Same height.
Summer love.
They jostle past .
Shredding up grass.
Unknowingly.
They continue.
Side by side.
Hip to hip.
Right then left.
How long will it last?
Hmmmmmm.

Then my back stiffens.
I arch forward,
supporting myself
with chunky crossed legs.

Thoughts dry.
Goosebumps become raised.
Joggers jog.
Warm perspiration. 

And then a figure. 
Footsteps turn.
The friend is here.

Monday 7 June 2010

LEARNING.

Im going to learn to drive,
steering well away
from negatives and worries
from down falls and anxiety. Inshallah.

Im going to learn
 to be the best me that i can be,
Insha-Allah.
and not let a simple act slip by,
simply because it can
without being undetected,
 unknown of and unheard of.
for it is not chinese whispers
i fear as i used
to once upon a time
but My Al-mighty, Al merciful Creator.

I'm going to learn
to Sail towards goodness
success and righteousness
Inshallah.
wholly knowing that i have set myself up
to be strong against
inner weakness
exterior superficial challenges
and the deadly whispers of every turn.

I'm going to learn to walk.
Straight .
In the right path that has been chosen for me .
Alhamdulilah.
Not the left
right
intentionally wobbly path
that we all do
walk on
because we all do
and that makes it fine and okay.
Who ever came up with that rationale.

I'm going to learn
to fly with an obedience
for Allah's will as my wings
The Quran and Hadith's
as my fuel
Good deeds, Xasanaad
as my passengers.

Im going to learn
to learn everyday
as our knowledge
and use of that knowledge
will suffice us for the here and the now,
and the universally undeniably
known Here-after .

Inshallah.

Thursday 15 April 2010

Tired

I am tired
Thats it
No emotions fueling insanity
No wants
No needs crippling
Nothing
I am just tired
Thats all.
Tired.

Sunday 4 April 2010

Revelations hopes and the seeds to them.

My mind wonders
and my heart pants heavily
as I struggle to live as two.
The one of simplicity and righteousness.
Clear and bright.

And the erratic luxury life
of instant gratification
glutenous laughter
Brassiness of money
success and power.

Moving on from what is routine and normal
is the biggest change of all.
Finding ones self in a world
where every thing goes
not seeking shelter from common
and presently barbaric forms of communal punishment.
Would we think twice about stealing if our right hand would be cut off.
Wouldn't we be petrified if we were out-casted just by not practicing
the basic's which are set in stone.

And the other life is much desired for.
As the mixed being of mind heart and soul;
wishes to be purified.
The dark scoldings over them
to be brightly varnished away
stroke by stroke
footstep to footstep
to bows
prostrating to kneeling
to prayer.

And praying and praying;
for that simple life of contentness
goodness
light of heart
purpose in life
avoidance of evils
actions of mercy
thoughts of clearness
worshiping of the one and only.
As-Samad.
At-Tawwaab.
Al-Azeem.

Yet when I think like this my mind pants and heaves no more
and my heart sets at rest
all becomes clear
and still.
Airy.

Living as was written as one and for only One.
All we can do is walk
Hope.
Pray-steadfast
Believe and we shall wonder no more.

Ameen.

Wednesday 17 March 2010

Kenya GOOD Times...xxxxxxxxx ...love it




Commit a crime and I'll be your defender
Overpower me so I surrender
Oh I wish I could be your saliva
So that I could taste your lips...whenever
I envy...your hipster
Vile inakushika kwa mapaa
Kwa kweli manzi umebarikiwa
Ndio maana tunaimba 'hallelujah'
I wish I could be your shoe
I would have such a beautiful view
And if I was the slit on your dress
My goal in life would be to aim for the highest
If only I could be your body lotion
I would walk with undivided devotion
Kila siku nakufikiria
Ndio maana nasinzia 

The Gentleman Came and Went.

So coy...so gentle.
Young strapping gentlemen have arisen
from your typical yobbish warya’s 
bopping on the highroad streets. 
Their clothes edgy and fresh
their swagger noted to the point. 
Charm smouldering around
inflicting our ladies to swoon and melt inside.


And no this isn't from the fake lies
cool swave compliments and empty promises.
No these ARE honest,
to the point
open to an extent
reasonable enough to think 
you have reasoned  your significance 
or as you told yourself part and parcel.
A position that you hold control
Of which you really don't
but are conditioned to thinking you made this fair and just aggreament....


but everything changed....
when one falls for thee gentleman....
of charm and stature 
of confidence and inspirations.




{Torn, be-soaked in tears and frustrated,
of what I told myself of this half acceptable.
Half wanting. 
And fully knowing that its a matter of time,
till I break and crumble illuminously inside.n9v}




Copyright ©  Mino Rock 2009

Signs

Something yet nothing.
I feel the closeness the wanting,
the affection, the new sparks
bringing , growing , rooting . Hope.
new perspective from something that was there already.
Yet never seen and seeded like that.

Yet a nothing in realty the sheer, closing, instantly accessed.

Yet I feel and want..and urge myslef to get close
to get a bit more exposed
 and open to absorb it all
regardless of the emptiness behind all the pinned up signes of
'DO NOT ENTER' OR ' NO ACCESS' AND 'DEAD END'.

Copyright ©  Mino Rock Winter 2009

Wait for It.

So you think
you've seen
heard
and felt it before.
After that first initial heart break
Honey...
Don't be fooled.

Wait for the heart-break
that has the
   ICED     -     FIST   -    BLOW  -   PUNCH
In your face.
That you didn't see.

The one you promised yourself
GUARANTEED.
Was far beyond romantic
Sadder then a joke of a side-~KICk
Sadder then a Crippled Cynic.

Wait for the one that you
ERASED PERMANENTLY ,
Whilst still trying to bluff
the internal
Eternal tears running
down the back
of your dry throat
that still hasn't taken
that gulp of disbelief.

The one that has your chest
caved in
and collapsed
At the very thought of
a hallucinated maybe
when you clearly see
the opposite.
The nothing.

The heart does tend to dream
thats when it needs to be
covered in acidic distain
to numb the pain.

You think
you have seen
heard
and felt it all before.
Honey,
but its only the beginning.
Shield your precious heart.
The war still rages on.


To be continued.

Copyright ©  Mino Rock March 2010
Picture courtesy of http://www.thegiant.org/wiki/index.php/Dolk

Wednesday 10 March 2010

Niceness.

Can you stop being so nice?
Can you stop being so randomly present?
Cant you see these clearly opaque signs that im sending you?
Cant you see these rigidly firm signals that I am dispersing over you?
Cant you see my futile silent attempts at blocking you
deleting from my telefonic and web-warbed life?
Can you stop your nice character
of dispelling its niceness around?
When in fact your being is not present
at moments of presence.
Can you not see these smoke signals?
that I crafty create up in the sky to dispel you,
forcing you to pigeon flock away from me.
Why do u continuely seem to be present?
just when I am suicidally trying to  forget about you
irritating my scolded skin;
that shudders waves of goosebumps back and forth.
How do I say it?
Shout it?
Projectile vomit it ?
Why do you seems to convey me in you,
with this nothingness that we created and allowed to linger.
Why do keep this minute piece of me
even though it is a surplus in your life,
a part of me which you didn't deserve
and never will deserve.
Your niceness isn't wanted,
 we would rather live with bleak emptiness
then your  charitable goodness.
Just leave us alone .Oright.

Copyright ©  Mino Rock March 2010
Picture Courtesy of http://www.naotohattori.com/prints/vomiting.html

Erykah Badu at her finest. In love with her words..




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np21rH7Ldto

If I could ever fall in love with a woman's words, Ms Badu is the one.

Saturday 6 March 2010

Hoyo.

She see's it as deliberate
but Hoyo its not.
Always upsetting, forgetting
always misunderstanding.
I didn't intend.
But repeatedly
I tend to.

So Broken .
So Gone.
I claw into the last grains
of hope
of trust.
As I always dismissed
whats is so easily missed
as the shouldnt of's
couldnt of's
and wouldnt of's.

Small acts and gestures
that would suffice
and equate to love and care
and all this time I played with dice.
Now all  I do for her is a must
before her and I turn into dust.

Shes says there two types of people
one that are born with obligation
and ones that come to learn their obligation.
I am neither.
Well at least that whats it appears like.
Raised by a strong and fearless woman
brings me to
en-devour to show feelings
feelings of love admiration
obligation
Which I do Hoyo.

Theres are things I see as nothing
 deem to be fundamentally wrong
and hurtful
and sinister
but I think I must of missed
the Memo
of this ambilical cord straining
and hemorrhaging
and torn flesh.

I just want to start over and press refresh.

I beg and plea but inside she is already gone
always vowed to never reach this
un-reconcilable
unreachable low
of thrashing horror.

My acts are taken as
personal
planned
torturous.
Despise
But inside
darting directly
from my eyes
I would never
Hoyo for instead my own weight
I would sever.

Hurting you is only me that I cheat
So Hoyo I make this concrete
no pain you shall ever meet.


Im sorry but 
it is not enough
I pray that it wil be
as heaven lies beneath my mothers feet.


Copyright ©  Mino Rock March 2010



FOOT NOTES
Translations  
HOYO means Mother.

Saturday 20 February 2010

Mino Rock

I AM NOT A ROCK.
I AM NOT A WALL.
I AM NOT CONCRETE.
I AM NOT CEMENT
I AM NOT A CANE
I CAN BREAK, AND HURT. AND TUMBLE.
bRUISE AND CRY AND CRUMBLE....
ISNT IT CLEAR.
THROU THIS GLASS
CANT YOU SEE. 
 ..
.... YOUR ARE HURTING ME


YOU WILL GET YOUR DUE..
AND MY HEARTS SAYS NO, 
HOPEFULLY NO.
THIS PAIN 
NO ONE
SHOULD GO THROUGH
SO BROKEN SO TORN, 
CONFUSED AND AVERTED...


THESE ARE JUST EMOTIONS..
NO MORE CONOTATIONS 
OF BLEAKNESS..
  AND I SAY NO...
BUT NEVER KNOW
HOW LONG HOLDING AWAY EMOTIONS WILL LAST...


IN THE WORDS OF A BROKEN HEART...
I WILL TRY HARDER TO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN,
I SEE YOUR DOING GREAT AT IT...




Copyright ©  Mino Rock 2009 Dec

> Another Female drama I never saw coming to me, 20 years old. And things couldn't be foggier.
A while from now I will be laughing about this, the situation, the person, and myself,  for getting so caught up, on feelings.At least I feel and accept my humanness now. I am not a rock, just me..I am happy,and sad, and in love and in envy, so inconsistant and persistant, no patients at all. raging, in side...waiting for something...... to explode...or stop ticking... who knows... thats all folks go to bed its 1 am and im out. de.

I Am Done.



I am done with this.
All of this
this kiss
this sinister caress.
That used to unravel realms
entities and light years apart from
sanity
rationale
and normality.

As you continue repeatedly
as every time it used to be
New
Adventurous
and Bliss.

Delicious and Irresistible realms
that now are replaced with
bitter poisonous thorns
of stabbing contamination
of infectious  pain.

OH HOW CONTEMPLATING THIS LEASE OF LIFE USED TO DRAIN.

And it is not you
that brings this epiphany,
You are not that awe-inspiring
and special as you emanate.

You are but the tip of this Ice-burg
that has been forever falling
in slow motion.

And this is my notion.
Thoughts that have been tumbling
like the cold killer snow
that have now reached
its temperatures to these
presently broken bones.
Smothering them with frost.

And this all does show
that I already know.

And I am DONE now
with this full audaciousness
and these false graciousness
in your speeches.
Dumb lies and virtues impeaches
my correctly sane mind.
Your clear insanity bring me my own personal sanity.

Yet right now at I walk midnight above me
showering moonlight upon my glistening forehead.
Not looking left or right
Backward or forward.
I feel air
Not cold.
Just air.

I walk,
scattering these words irresponsibly .
They leak from my pen unattainably.
Excruciatingly cold hands,
yet calm and warm from my contentness.

My submission to this decision
that I have internally uttered from the beginning.

Although we have come to the end of the road.
I Belong to me.
You belong to you.
Its unnatural.

This condition of your's,
I am finally immune to.
Have your blessings and curses.
Enjoy your 10 meal courses.

I am done. Be free to share your realm
your purposeless rotating helm.

On my behalf, No jealousy or pity
This is an ever evolving big city.
Find yours.
I have found mine.

Finally.
I'm Done.

Copyright © 2010 Mino Rock

Monday 18 January 2010

Good night in the morning.

>In the morning
chasing after short moments of talking
whispering at times.
The' I miss you's' yearn for 'the I want and 'need you's'
and intertwine malleably around each other.

Sweet charms embraced the noting of features
random facts
activities
co-incidences.
All to just speak a bit more .......of .....something more
the silence fulfilling in another world.
The other side of this connection.
This mental and physical telephonic connection.


Good night.
Flashes of deep naked words,
wantingly slip through.
Unknowingly.
In the midst of body's lying cocooned
and eyes aging of sleep,
voices smooth and deep.
Temptuous closeness.

My dry sore eye skin creates friction as my heavy eyed lids
D
R                          T
O                   F
P              I
And    L                   . Then with my minute shuffle draws attention to my acheing body

dry mouth and foetal positioned limps to the anticipated post-pillow talk sleep land that I yearn for.

Then I 

Lash out

'AND YOU with your backward routine
riding home in sunrise
at the dawn of my thoughts
beginning of dreams
sleep and recovery of that night and day before'.

And all of this from two people that have never shared an intimate moment
just moment of naive minds of wishful thinking.
Of likes and dislikes
of a potential.
Yet the not-black and not-white domino's appear to keep falling and scattering
hypnotizing me into this shallow trance of sleeps.

Good morning.





Copyright ©  Mino Rock summer 2009

Friday 15 January 2010

A Message to my dear friend and other's : Clearness is Close.

Struggles of the young,
struggles of the sprung.  
If only you could see,
that life should simply be.  


Don't worry about the events happenings,
of things and people.  
I know you want ,
to run and shout on top of a steeple.  
What's not in your hands,  
doesn't lie in others either.
No one is your keeper.
Stop tormenting yourself; 
with what rain does not fall, doesn't fall 
and doesn't want to fall. 
Your thunder's rage 
for acceptance to his unknowing storm.
Problems, silent agendas, secret thoughts 
all become airborne.  


See this silence and calm, 
as your time
time to be you.  
The rest leave it to fate,
it will save you from resentment and hate.  


Your essence and exquisite poise 
only seen by the close. 
Reserve your sterling being for true loved ones, 
the ones of us that love you back. 


Breathe. Accept.
My dear, clearness is close.




Copyright ©  Mino Rock New Year2010

Wednesday 13 January 2010

Casanova . No More.

He sang ' you should let me love you ' Ironically.He continued in his amateur voice 'If i was your man, baby you...never worry about what i do'. how idle, of this compulsive stranger.Who turns out to be not so strange at all, just stupid.The bug eyed camouflaging fly with its last brain cell,falls into a web of his own deceit.Liers will be liers. Cheaters will always be cheaters.Seranades of his last in these end of the woods echo. .
To laugh. To comfort... to out scrunch my eyebrows to that 'i knew it' posture.
Alas it hurt my mini me. the person I see some much of myslef a while back.
And still, with the goose chase, HA! on u loser.
The hunt. The trantrum. The upset. The denail.
The straight up oblivion to the situation.
This hillbilly still seared messages of sarcasm.
When nothing should be said by the wrong. Nothing.
No explaination. No ellaboration. No farce. No self justifying comments.
Just Shut Up and Drive.

Monday 11 January 2010

My favourite all time poem. Love It......


                                   “Porphyria’s Love

The rain set early in tonight,
The sullen wind was soon awake,
It tore the elm-tops down for spite,
and did its worst to vex the lake:
I listened with heart fit to break.
When glided in Porphyria; straight
She shut the cold out and the storm,
And kneeled and made the cheerless grate
Blaze up, and all the cottage warm;
Which done, she rose, and from her form
Withdrew the dripping cloak and shawl,
And laid her soiled gloves by, untied
Her hat and let the damp hair fall,
And, last, she sat down by my side
And called me. When no voice replied,
She put my arm about her waist,
And made her smooth white shoulder bare,
And all her yellow hair displaced,
And, stooping, made my cheek lie there,
And spread, o’er all, her yellow hair,
Murmuring how she loved me—she
Too weak, for all her heart’s endeavor,
To set its struggling passion free
From pride, and vainer ties dissever,
And give herself to me forever.
But passion sometimes would prevail,
Nor could tonight’s gay feast restrain
A sudden thought of one so pale
For love of her, and all in vain:
So, she was come through wind and rain.
Be sure I looked up at her eyes
Happy and proud; at last I knew
Porphyria worshiped me: surprise
Made my heart swell, and still it grew
While I debated what to do.
That moment she was mine, mine, fair,
Perfectly pure and good: I found
A thing to do, and all her hair
In one long yellow string I wound
Three times her little throat around,
And strangled her. No pain felt she;
I am quite sure she felt no pain.
As a shut bud that holds a bee,
I warily oped her lids: again
Laughed the blue eyes without a stain.
And I untightened next the tress
About her neck; her cheek once more
Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:
I propped her head up as before
Only, this time my shoulder bore
Her head, which droops upon it still:
The smiling rosy little head,
So glad it has its utmost will,
That all it scorned at once is fled,
And I, its love, am gained instead!
Porphyria’s love: she guessed not how
Her darling one wish would be heard.
And thus we sit together now,
And all night long we have not stirred,
And yet God has not said a word!

Summary

“Porphyria’s Lover,” which first appeared in 1836, is one of the earliest and most shocking of Browning’s dramatic monologues. The speaker lives in a cottage in the countryside. His lover, a blooming young woman named Porphyria, comes in out of a storm and proceeds to make a fire and bring cheer to the cottage. She embraces the speaker, offering him her bare shoulder. He tells us that he does not speak to her. Instead, he says, she begins to tell him how she has momentarily overcome societal strictures to be with him. He realizes that she “worship[s]” him at this instant. Realizing that she will eventually give in to society’s pressures, and wanting to preserve the moment, he wraps her hair around her neck and strangles her. He then toys with her corpse, opening the eyes and propping the body up against his side. He sits with her body this way the entire night, the speaker remarking that God has not yet moved to punish him.

Insomnia By Elaine Feinstein


"People do seem to need poetry; it makes our ordinary life feel richer." - Elaine Feinstein



http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=171Elaine Feinstein

Dialogues #1

Anonymous : My mind is filled with dreams of hope and many more. Im told to go far as it can take me. But then, when life is to go and end shall it be the moment that has not been gained. Hope is a dreamer's way of keeping it alive which is a means to be a human.Why run away from the dreams and hopes of living when life is right infront of you? Why lose site of the goal because it takes one kick to score ?  


Me : My mind is filled with dreams and hopes also my friend, im told of my potential of the travelling distance of dreams and aspirations. Lifes go ahead. Its what I see. Pauses and diversions irritate me. Dreams of hope is kept alive by the external humans around me, I appreciate you all. In my eyes i see a mirror reflection of my self as my own self defeating tormentor lies beneath. I can. You can not. Can and couldn't reach the distance . Fear is not my friend, rather contemplation coupled gracefully with hesitation gather around me.Why are you not emanated by this atmosphere around here? Is'nt what I say the Truth. 


Anonymous : I know that you wish to gain the truth of life between mine and yours with the happiness of times thats yours as to nurture a child with the suckles of your bossom but my heart is like a glass ready to break with the simplest means of touch. Fear is a best friend kept close while the truth is kept as far as you can because then you cant reach for it. 


Me : The truth between us will only glow at the moment its cemented by words of arabic, praises and joy. Fear is not my companion but hesitation. Healthy hesitation that us humans acquire as an excuse not to believe. But verily, everything is written before we were conceived.Can we conceive the acceptance of this? And let the hopes and dreams blossom from there and many more.

A thought i had 200 and something days ago.

Honestly why do we bother, in hopes of a small ray of light, to come through a pin sized key hole.With the uncertain keys we are given.

Smile.


Enjoy my friend.

It did me some and none.

Some i never wanted

or expected

and none that was in my mind.

Existed.

Not the nothingness i wanted.

A silence

or the all too well-heard parallel of loudness

that i didn't request

or suggest.










Realisations.. are okay.

Realisations we all make..its okay.

But alas this is not what we wanted .

Its not much that we want

that we should have.

We are damned into believe

what we wish

and want

is an essential

to have at that time.

When in fact it is

not fate.










So let us

let it be in glad tidings and smiles

laughter

rejoice with me

with time we had

spent well

spent smiling.




Smile.




2010.  Some people make new years resolutions. I have general reflections. More and More positive this year. Head up. Chin up .Tummies tucked in my friends and hopefully moving forward.

Sunday 10 January 2010

My first day of blogging.

Hmmm, so im using my msn hotmail and facebook today.
And some1 one hacked in deactivated my facebook and changed my msn password.I AM NOT A HAPPY BUNNY.SERIUOSLY. ITS NOT THE Contacts or the pictures im going to miss;it all the writing i did, all the experiences i reflected on some at that point in time, whether it was 2 am in the morning or 7am or the 48 that i deleriuosly used to make my self do.But with a new fresh year starting i have accepted maybe i shouldn't hold on to the past and do new things like blogging, something i have been hesitating to do. The clock strikes midnight, well ten past midnight on a sunday, now monday 10th of jan 2010. lets see what my year starting now brings. With a Blog. A password rated high on my pc (AHEM, shout-out's to the hackers). I hope this blog can take up all that i have to say think and reflect on. Lights out.Night

P.s apparently i've been told today by an apparent friend that im overweight and so ugly I was adopted. I wasn't fazed.I feel quiet sorry for this bully. Every one say it with me 'SHAME ON YOU' lol